Jason Statham’s latest is much less crunk than Crank -- 1.5 starsDirected by Roger Donaldson. March 2008, UK. R: 111 min.
(Originally published in buzz magazine on 3/8/2008)
T&A of almost Eye Wide Shut
proportions abounds in this
based-on-true-events film about a group of petty thieves and novices
who chiseled through half a city block’s worth of solid rock and
concrete in order to rob a London bank vault in 1971. Sounds possible,
right? Everything’s been done at one point or another. Oddly enough,
this is one story that seems more believable before you see the movie
The ragtag band of thugs has no chemistry whatsoever. Terry
Leather (Jason Statham) presumably knows all of the hoods in his group
fairly well, even if most of them never met each other before, yet his
attempts at producing an authentic sense of camaraderie and leadership
hearken back more to the wooden acting of Hayden Christensen in Star Wars
and Keanu Reeves in The Matrix
than, say, George Clooney in Ocean’s 11
Add to that the idiocy of using public HAM radios to communicate
between the lookout and the drilling team and the utter lack of common
sense in calling for naptime right after finally breaching the vault.
Long story short, The Bank Job
produces even more sighs per hour than the whole lot of Chicago Bears’ quarterbacks put together.
Nothing in this movie fits together. Nothing. The producers and
director Roger Donaldson must expect American audiences to just kind of
gleefully clap their hands and eat their boogers while bare breasts
flood the screen and British slang fills their ears.