INFOMERCIAL INTRODUCTION
[The commercial opens, in black and white, on what appears to be an American Idol type audition with three casting people sitting behind a table and a completely non-descript actor holding a piece of paper. The board behind the actor reads ‘Casting Call”. An unseen narrator’s voice begins speaking over the black and white and scene]
*Narrative voice continues over the scene until actual courses are listed*
NARRATOR: Do you want to land that dream Indian job in Hollywood, but don’t know………….HOW?
[The following scene is delivered as the narrative voice continues. The actor begins to mouth a few lines with dignity and practiced acting skill. The camera cuts back to the judges and all, in unison, give the actor a slow head shake. After a “wunh-wunh” failure sound, a large red X cuts through the scene illustrating the error.]
[Camera cuts to three VHS tapes with covers very poorly drawn, sitting on a wood countertop with “Get Red Right” in large letters at the bottom of the screen]
NARRATOR: Don’t worry your pretty little scalps because we have got you covered. From the people who brought you “7 Step Mammy” and “Jose Today” NarrowScope proudly presents “Get Red Right”. A ten tape program designed to ensure you tomahawk your pale faced competition and soar like eagle right into that dream Hollywood Indian job.
[Camera cuts to a VHS tape with a very different logo on the front, but seemingly also offering an Indian acting program]
NARRATOR: Other companies may claim the success we have but do not be fooled by those who speak with fork-tounge.
[A tomahawk cuts the video in half]
NARRATOR: Only “Get Red Right”’s patent pending formula consists of ten videos specifically designed with John Ford’s westerns and cigar shops everywhere in mind.
[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]
NARRATOR: Still not sure? Here’s just a sneak peak at the over 25 hours of training you will receive through our program.
SAMPLE CLIPS OF THE TAPES’ “INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIAL”
[Begin sequence of one instructor and student in the woods. Some soaring theme plays as the footage cuts between an instructor and his student, both sitting Indian style, with the instructor lecturing (but we don’t hear him) and the student attentively listening. The student is dressed in stereotypical Hollywood Indian apparel, and the instructor just wears jeans and a dress shirt or polo.]
[From here on, the screen depicts the scenes that the unseen narrator describes.]
NARRATOR: We’ll teach you all kinds of great techniques crucial to getting a part as a bad guy in the next Western, such as how to stand like an Indian.
How to walk like an Indian.
How to talk like an Indian.
How to dance like an Indian.
How to sneak up on your unsuspecting paleface enemies without breaking any twigs.
How to wa-wa-wa-wa-wa like the best of ’em.
And, who could forget, how to send smoke signals!
TESTIMONIALS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SUCCESS WITH THE TAPES
[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]
NARRATOR: Don’t just take our word for it. Just listen to the testimonials of people who were once stuck in your same shoes, but traded them in for moccasins and found success with our program.
[Scene comes up with a person, race or gender is not important, wearing a feather in a headband and staring slightly left of the camera. A house plant and clean background punctuate the overall success of the story]
SUCCESS STORY #1: I was down on my luck, reading books about Native Americans for acting roles and finding no success. Right before I thought about calling my career quits forever, I saw this program called “Get Red Right” and ordered the tapes. I just landed the part I was born to play. I’m starring as Chief Little-Big-Running-Eagle-Dog-Wolf in the film “6 Apaches for 7 Comanches” . [large smile into the camera]
[A different background appears but with a similar effect. This actor may have war paint drawn on his face or a feather again, or, for the most daring, he may be indeed just wearing a loincloth of some kind. The actor again faces away from the camera slightly]
SUCCESS STORY #2: After using “Get Red Right”, my rain dance is so noteworthy, I’ve become the meteorologist at my local television station. My fame now soars like spirit of buffalo. I have been asked to do all kinds of talk shows and have even had a few marriage proposals, but as the station only pays me in strings of beads I have yet to land my squaw. But what do I care, Im so proud of this program I don’t think Ill ever stop wearing my loincloth. (places hand over mouth and does the stereotypical Indian war cry).
[A different background appears but with a similar effect. This actor may have war paint drawn on his face or a feather again, or for the most daring he may be wearing a loincloth of some kind. This actor should sound more distinguished and noteworthy than the previous 2. The actor again faces away from the camera slightly
SUCCESS STORY #3: As a graduate of Julliard, I take my acting roles very seriously. I actually lived with a tribe of Cheyenne for 17 years in the research of a role. I had no idea that reality wasn’t what directors wanted and I didn’t land the part. After just one week of the “Get Red Right” tapes, I was finally offered a part in a movie. I play the role of silent savage number 4 in the upcoming film “Scalped Heads and Scalloped Potatoes”. (proud smile) My career has never been in a better place.
[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]
NARRATOR: “Get Red Right” is such a powerful program the lessons learned on the tapes can actually be transferred over for success in everyday life.
[Camera interviews a younger college aged person, sitting in a dorm room, hopefully wearing a headdress]
REAL STORY #1: So, I just got accepted to college and I found out my roommate is Native American. I want to make a good impression but, OMG, I have never seen a real life Indian before, I don’t think, I don’t know. Anywho, I ordered the “Get Red Right” tapes and I’m positive I’m going to make a great impression. I just can’t wait to introduce myself. (Very slowly and very deeply speaking). Me…Ashley. You…Kelly. Me…Friend.(Giggling) Like, we are totally gonna get off to a great start!! Thanks “Get Red Right”!
[Middle Aged Man standing in his garage, or other location that gives off the perception that the man is clearly not interested in acting. The man looks very Joe 6-pack]
REAL STORY #2: Yeah, I got them tapes as a gift. I asked for the John Wayne collection, but the wife don’t hear so good, you know. I couldn’t believe it! I loved the tapes! After I put on the free war paint, I carried my tommyhawk into various establishments lookin to see how convincing I was as a injun. I tell you these tapes is like a coupon book. Not only was I told to take what I ever I wanted, I had money thrown at me just for walking in. That aint a one time thing either. Banks, grocery stores, neighbors houses. This tommyhawk and face paint are my good luck charms. My life’s gotten better ten fold all due to “Get Red Right”.
INTRO TO THE RECENT GRADUATES
[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]
NARRATOR: If youre still not convinced, just take a look at these recent graduates of our fine program who are now stampeding through Hollywood like a herd of Tatanka. In case you’re wondering, that’s buffalo for those of you that haven’t ordered your tapes, yet.
1) Disney Peter Pan scene : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_at9dOElQk
2) Gumby “Gold Rush” show footage : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqKMrkVt0ic
3) Ugga wugga meatball (Mary Martin’s Peter Pan) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNeED-Fd6zA
4) High school Indian mascot : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUZnI9h2Fgs
5) non-Disney Pocahontas : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PStrheFciO8
6) Lone Ranger “Tonto and the Devil Spirits” cartoon footage : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdj8gMcYJ5A
EXPERT SEGMENT
[Sudden cut to a man wearing white lab coat. Medium shot. He’s sitting at a desk, directly facing the camera. Bookshelves are in the background.]
DOCTOR HACK: Oh hi there! I’m Doctor Felix Hack, a family chiropractor and professor emeritus at the University of Phoenix Online. Like many of you out there, I had some doubts about this product at first. After all, how could watching a few video tapes help you look and act more like our noble, red friends on the rez?
I decided to conduct a few in-depth test studies on some of the program’s recent graduates, and I was blown away with the results!
[The doctor gives a wacky smile and pauses for a moment as a blowing sound effect plays. He spins around in his chair and grabs something off the floor. Cut to a closer shot of him holding ridiculous pie charts and line graphs.]
DOCTOR HACK: As you can see here, if you follow the easy steps of Get Red Right’s patented system, you can double, triple, even quadruple your Indianness in a matter of weeks! In all my years of scholarly research, I have never seen a program yield this much success at such a quick rate!
[The camera zooms out as the doctor abruptly drops the chart, stands up, and gives a long, awkward, silent thumbs-up, again with a goofy grin.]
LIST OF THE TRIBES
[Cut to our stock picture of the tape collection. Some cheesy 80s “Indian” music—probably that WWF wrestler’s entrance theme—plays through the end of the program.]
NARRATOR: Get Red Right’s ten-tape program will help you master the whoops, chants, and dances of all 338 federally recognized tribes.
[Black screen with very quickly scrolling list of tribes in white text]
NARRATOR: The last ten minutes of the second tape sees to it that you won’t get caught mixing up Hopis with Ho-Chunks and Mohegans with the Muscogees at your next audition! You’ll know just [with emphasis] HOW each tribe is savage—err, I mean noble—in their own way!
1. Absentee-Shawnee Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma
2. Agua Caliente Band of Cahuilla Indians of the Agua Caliente Indian Reservation, California
3. Ak Chin Indian Community of the Maricopa (Ak Chin) Indian Reservation, Arizona
4. Alabama-Coushatta Tribes of Texas
5. Alabama-Quassarte Tribal Town, Oklahoma
6. Alturas Indian Rancheria, California
7. Apache Tribe of Oklahoma
8. Arapahoe Tribe of the Wind River Reservation, Wyoming
9. Aroostook Band of Micmac Indians of Maine
10. Assiniboine and Sioux Tribes of the Fort Peck Indian Reservation, Montana
11. Augustine Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Augustine Reservation, California
12. Bad River Band of the Lake Superior Tribe of Chippewa Indians of the
13. Bad River Reservation, Wisconsin
14. Bay Mills Indian Community, Michigan (previously listed as the Bay Mills Indian Community of the Sault Ste. Marie Band of Chippewa Indians, Bay Mills Reservation, Michigan)
15. Bear River Band of the Rohnerville Rancheria, California
16. Berry Creek Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California
17. Big Lagoon Rancheria, California
18. Big Pine Band of Owens Valley Paiute Shoshone Indians of the Big Pine Reservation, California
19. Big Sandy Rancheria of Mono Indians of California
20. Big Valley Band of Pomo Indians of the Big Valley Rancheria, California
21. Blackfeet Tribe of the Blackfeet Indian Reservation of Montana
22. Blue Lake Rancheria, California
23. Bridgeport Paiute Indian Colony of California
24. Buena Vista Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California
25. Burns Paiute Tribe of the Burns Paiute Indian Colony of Oregon
26. Cabazon Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Cabazon Reservation, California
27. Cachil DeHe Band of Wintun Indians of the Colusa Indian Community of the Colusa Rancheria, California
28. Caddo Indian Tribe of Oklahoma
29. Cahuilla Band of Mission Indians of the Cahuilla Reservation, California
30. Cahto Indian Tribe of the Laytonville Rancheria, California
31. California Valley Miwok Tribe, California (formerly the Sheep Ranch Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California)
32. Campo Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Campo Indian Reservation, California
33. Capitan Grande Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of California:
o Barona Group of Capitan Grande Band of Mission Indians of the Barona Reservation, California
o Viejas (Baron Long) Group of Capitan Grande Band of Mission Indians of the Viejas Reservation, California
34. Catawba Indian Nation (aka Catawba Tribe of South Carolina)
35. Cayuga Nation of New York
36. Cedarville Rancheria, California
37. Chemehuevi Indian Tribe of the Chemehuevi Reservation, California
38. Cher-Ae Heights Indian Community of the Trinidad Rancheria, California
39. Cherokee Nation, Oklahoma
40. Cheyenne-Arapaho Tribes of Oklahoma
41. Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe of the Cheyenne River Reservation, South Dakota
42. Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
43. Chicken Ranch Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California
44. Chippewa-Cree Indians of the Rocky Boy's Reservation, Montana
45. Chitimacha Tribe of Louisiana
46. Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma
47. Citizen Potawatomi Nation, Oklahoma
48. Cloverdale Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
49. Cocopah Tribe of Arizona
50. Coeur D'Alene Tribe of the Coeur D'Alene Reservation, Idaho
51. Cold Springs Rancheria of Mono Indians of California
52. Colorado River Indian Tribes of the Colorado River Indian Reservation, Arizona and California
53. Comanche Nation, Oklahoma (formerly the Comanche Indian Tribe)
54. Confederated Salish & Kootenai Tribes of the Flathead Reservation, Montana
55. Confederated Tribes of the Chehalis Reservation, Washington
56. Confederated Tribes of the Colville Reservation, Washington
57. Confederated Tribes of the Coos, Lower Umpqua and Siuslaw Indians of Oregon
58. Confederated Tribes of the Goshute Reservation, Nevada and Utah
59. Confederated Tribes of the Grand Ronde Community of Oregon
60. Confederated Tribes of the Siletz Reservation, Oregon
61. Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Reservation, Oregon
62. Confederated Tribes of the Warm Springs Reservation of Oregon
63. Confederated Tribes and Bands of the Yakama Indian Nation of the Yakama Reservation, Washington
64. Coquille Tribe of Oregon
65. Cortina Indian Rancheria of Wintun Indians of California
66. Coushatta Tribe of Louisiana
67. Cow Creek Band of Umpqua Indians of Oregon
68. Cowlitz Indian Tribe, Washington
69. Coyote Valley Band of Pomo Indians of California
70. Crow Tribe of Montana
71. Crow Creek Sioux Tribe of the Crow Creek Reservation, South Dakota
72. Cuyapaipe Community of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Cuyapaipe Reservation, California
73. Death Valley Timbi-Sha Shoshone Band of California
74. Delaware Nation, Oklahoma (formerly Delaware Tribe of Western Oklahoma)
75. Delaware Tribe of Indians, Oklahoma
76. Dry Creek Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
77. Duckwater Shoshone Tribe of the Duckwater Reservation, Nevada
78. Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians of North Carolina
79. Eastern Shawnee Tribe of Oklahoma
80. Elem Indian Colony of Pomo Indians of the Sulphur Bank Rancheria, California
81. Elk Valley Rancheria, California
82. Ely Shoshone Tribe of Nevada
83. Enterprise Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California
84. Flandreau Santee Sioux Tribe of South Dakota
85. Forest County Potawatomi Community, Wisconsin (previously listed as the Forest County Potawatomi Community of Wisconsin Potawatomi Indians, Wisconsin)
86. Fort Belknap Indian Community of the Fort Belknap Reservation of Montana
87. Fort Bidwell Indian Community of the Fort Bidwell Reservation of California
88. Fort Independence Indian Community of Paiute Indians of the Fort Independence Reservation, California
89. Fort McDermitt Paiute and Shoshone Tribes of the Fort McDermitt Indian Reservation, Nevada and Oregon
90. Fort McDowell Yavapai Nation, Arizona (formerly the Fort McDowell Mohave-Apache Community of the Fort McDowell Indian Reservation)
91. Fort Mojave Indian Tribe of Arizona, California & Nevada
92. Fort Sill Apache Tribe of Oklahoma
93. Gila River Indian Community of the Gila River Indian Reservation, Arizona
94. Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians, Michigan (previously listed as the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa & Chippewa Indians of Michigan)
95. Graton Rancheria, California
96. Greenville Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California
97. Grindstone Indian Rancheria of Wintun-Wailaki Indians of California
98. Guidiville Rancheria of California
99. Hannahville Indian Community, Michigan (previously listed as the Hannahville Indian Community of Wisconsin Potawatomie Indians of Michigan)
100. Havasupai Tribe of the Havasupai Reservation, Arizona
101. Ho-Chunk Nation of Wisconsin (formerly known as the Wisconsin Winnebago Tribe)
102. Hoh Indian Tribe of the Hoh Indian Reservation, Washington
103. Hoopa Valley Tribe, California
104. Hopi Tribe of Arizona
105. Hopland Band of Pomo Indians of the Hopland Rancheria, California
106. Houlton Band of Maliseet Indians of Maine
107. Hualapai Indian Tribe of the Hualapai Indian Reservation, Arizona
108. Huron Potawatomi, Inc., Michigan
109. Inaja Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Inaja and Cosmit Reservation, California
110. Ione Band of Miwok Indians of California
111. Iowa Tribe of Kansas and Nebraska
112. Iowa Tribe of Oklahoma
113. Jackson Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California
114. Jamestown S'Klallam Tribe of Washington
115. Jamul Indian Village of California
116. Jena Band of Choctaw Indians, Louisiana
117. Jicarilla Apache Nation, New Mexico (formerly the Jicarilla Apache Tribe of the Jicarilla Apache Indian Reservation)
118. Kaibab Band of Paiute Indians of the Kaibab Indian Reservation, Arizona
119. Kalispel Indian Community of the Kalispel Reservation, Washington
120. Karuk Tribe of California
121. Kashia Band of Pomo Indians of the Stewarts Point Rancheria, California
122. Kaw Nation, Oklahoma
123. Keweenaw Bay Indian Community, Michigan (previously listed as the Keweenaw Bay Indian Community of L'Anse and Ontonagon Bands of Chippewa Indians of the L'Anse Reservation, Michigan)
124. Kialegee Tribal Town, Oklahoma
125. Kickapoo Tribe of Indians of the Kickapoo Reservation in Kansas
126. Kickapoo Tribe of Oklahoma
127. Kickapoo Traditional Tribe of Texas
128. Kiowa Indian Tribe of Oklahoma
129. Klamath Indian Tribe of Oregon
130. Kootenai Tribe of Idaho
131. La Jolla Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the La Jolla Reservation, California
132. La Posta Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the La Posta Indian Reservation, California
133. Lac Courte Oreilles Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin (previously listed as the Lac Courte Oreilles Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of the Lac Courte Oreilles Reservation of Wisconsin)
134. Lac du Flambeau Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of the Lac du Flambeau Reservation of Wisconsin
135. Lac Vieux Desert Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of Michigan
136. Las Vegas Tribe of Paiute Indians of the Las Vegas Indian Colony, Nevada
137. Little River Band of Ottawa Indians of Michigan
138. Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians, Michigan (previously listed as the Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians of Michigan)
139. Lower Lake Rancheria, California
140. Los Coyotes Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Los Coyotes Reservation, California
141. Lovelock Paiute Tribe of the Lovelock Indian Colony, Nevada
142. Lower Brule Sioux Tribe of the Lower Brule Reservation, South Dakota
143. Lower Elwha Tribal Community of the Lower Elwha Reservation, Washington
144. Lower Sioux Indian Community in the State of Minnesota (previously listed as the Lower Sioux Indian Community of Minnesota Mdewakanton Sioux Indians of the Lower Sioux Reservation in Minnesota)
145. Lummi Tribe of the Lummi Reservation, Washington
146. Lytton Rancheria of California
147. Makah Indian Tribe of the Makah Indian Reservation, Washington
148. Manchester Band of Pomo Indians of the Manchester-Point Arena Rancheria, California
149. Manzanita Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Manzanita Reservation, California
150. Mashantucket Pequot Tribe of Connecticut
151. Match-e-be-nash-she-wish Band of Pottawatomi Indians of Michigan
152. Mechoopda Indian Tribe of Chico Rancheria, California
153. Menominee Indian Tribe of Wisconsin
154. Mesa Grande Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Mesa Grande Reservation, California
155. Mescalero Apache Tribe of the Mescalero Reservation, New Mexico
156. Miami Tribe of Oklahoma
157. Miccosukee Tribe of Indians of Florida
158. Middletown Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
159. Minnesota Chippewa Tribe, Minnesota - Six component reservations:
o Bois Forte Band (Nett Lake);
o Fond du Lac Band;
o Grand Portage Band;
o Leech Lake Band;
o Mille Lacs Band;
o White Earth Band
160. Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians, Mississippi
161. Moapa Band of Paiute Indians of the Moapa River Indian Reservation, Nevada
162. Modoc Tribe of Oklahoma
163. Mohegan Indian Tribe of Connecticut
164. Mooretown Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California
165. Morongo Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Morongo Reservation, California
166. Muckleshoot Indian Tribe of the Muckleshoot Reservation, Washington
167. Muscogee (Creek) Nation, Oklahoma
168. Narragansett Indian Tribe of Rhode Island
169. Navajo Nation, Arizona, New Mexico & Utah
170. Nez Perce Tribe of Idaho
171. Nisqually Indian Tribe of the Nisqually Reservation, Washington
172. Nooksack Indian Tribe of Washington
173. Northern Cheyenne Tribe of the Northern Cheyenne Indian Reservation, Montana
174. North Fork Rancheria of Mono Indians of California
175. Northwestern Band of Shoshoni Nation of Utah (Washakie)
176. Oglala Sioux Tribe of the Pine Ridge Reservation, South Dakota
177. Omaha Tribe of Nebraska
178. Oneida Nation of New York
179. Oneida Tribe of Indians of Wisconsin (previously listed as the Oneida Tribe of Wisconsin)
180. Onondaga Nation of New York
181. Osage Tribe, Oklahoma
182. Ottawa Tribe of Oklahoma
183. Otoe-Missouria Tribe of Indians, Oklahoma
184. Paiute Indian Tribe of Utah
o Cedar City Band of Paiutes
o Kanosh Band of Paiutes
o Koosharem Band of Paiutes
o Indian Peaks Band of Paiutes
o Shivwits Band of Paiutes
185. Paiute-Shoshone Indians of the Bishop Community of the Bishop Colony, California
186. Paiute-Shoshone Tribe of the Fallon Reservation and Colony, Nevada
187. Paiute-Shoshone Indians of the Lone Pine Community of the Lone Pine Reservation, California
188. Pala Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Pala Reservation, California
189. Pascua Yaqui Tribe of Arizona
190. Paskenta Band of Nomlaki Indians of California
191. Passamaquoddy Tribe of Maine
192. Pauma Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Pauma & Yuima Reservation, California
193. Pawnee Nation of Oklahoma
194. Pechanga Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Pechanga Reservation, California
195. Penobscot Tribe of Maine
196. Peoria Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma
197. Picayune Rancheria of Chukchansi Indians of California
198. Pinoleville Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
199. Pit River Tribe, California
o Big Bend,
o Lookout,
o Montgomery
o Creek & Roaring Creek Rancherias
o XL Ranch
200. Poarch Band of Creek Indians of Alabama
201. Pokagon Band of Potawatomi Indians, Michigan and Indiana (previously listed as the Pokagon Band of Potawatomi Indians of Michigan)
202. Ponca Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma
203. Ponca Tribe of Nebraska
204. Port Gamble Indian Community of the Port Gamble Reservation, Washington
205. Potter Valley Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
206. Prairie Band of Potawatomi Nation, Kansas (formerly the Prairie Band of Potawatomi Indians)
207. Prairie Island Indian Community in the State of Minnesota (previously listed as the Prairie Island Indian Community of Minnesota Mdewakanton Sioux Indians of the Prairie Island Reservation, Minnesota)
208. Pueblo of Acoma, New Mexico
209. Pueblo of Cochiti, New Mexico
210. Pueblo of Jemez, New Mexico
211. Pueblo of Isleta, New Mexico
212. Pueblo of Laguna, New Mexico
213. Pueblo of Nambe, New Mexico
214. Pueblo of Picuris, New Mexico
215. Pueblo of Pojoaque, New Mexico
216. Pueblo of San Felipe, New Mexico
217. Pueblo of San Juan, New Mexico
218. Pueblo of San Ildefonso, New Mexico
219. Pueblo of Sandia, New Mexico
220. Pueblo of Santa Ana, New Mexico
221. Pueblo of Santa Clara, New Mexico
222. Pueblo of Santo Domingo, New Mexico
223. Pueblo of Taos, New Mexico
224. Pueblo of Tesuque, New Mexico
225. Pueblo of Zia, New Mexico
226. Puyallup Tribe of the Puyallup Reservation, Washington
227. Pyramid Lake Paiute Tribe of the Pyramid Lake Reservation, Nevada
228. Quapaw Tribe of Indians, Oklahoma
229. Quartz Valley Indian Community of the Quartz Valley Reservation of California
230. Quechan Tribe of the Fort Yuma Indian Reservation, California & Arizona
231. Quileute Tribe of the Quileute Reservation, Washington
232. Quinault Tribe of the Quinault Reservation, Washington
233. Ramona Band or Village of Cahuilla Mission Indians of California
234. Red Cliff Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin
235. Red Lake Band of Chippewa Indians, Minnesota (previously listed as the Red Lake Band of Chippewa Indians of the Red Lake Reservation, Minnesota)
236. Redding Rancheria, California
237. Redwood Valley Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
238. Reno-Sparks Indian Colony, Nevada
239. Resighini Rancheria, California (formerly the Coast Indian Community of Yurok Indians of the Resighini Rancheria)
240. Rincon Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Rincon Reservation, California
241. Robinson Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
242. Rosebud Sioux Tribe of the Rosebud Indian Reservation, South Dakota
243. Round Valley Indian Tribes of the Round Valley Reservation, California (formerly known as the Covelo Indian Community)
244. Rumsey Indian Rancheria of Wintun Indians of California
245. Sac & Fox Tribe of the Mississippi in Iowa
246. Sac & Fox Nation of Missouri in Kansas and Nebraska
247. Sac & Fox Nation, Oklahoma
248. Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe of Michigan (previously listed as the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe of Michigan, Isabella Reservation)
249. St. Croix Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin (previously listed as the St. Croix Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin, St. Croix Reservation)
250. St. Regis Band of Mohawk Indians of New York
251. Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community of the Salt River Reservation, Arizona
252. Samish Indian Tribe, Washington
253. San Carlos Apache Tribe of the San Carlos Reservation, Arizona
254. San Juan Southern Paiute Tribe of Arizona
255. San Manual Band of Serrano Mission Indians of the San Manual Reservation, California
256. San Pasqual Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of California
257. Santa Rosa Indian Community of the Santa Rosa Rancheria, California
258. Santa Rosa Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Santa Rosa Reservation, California
259. Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Mission Indians of the Santa Ynez Reservation, California
260. Santa Ysabel Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Santa Ysabel Reservation, California
261. Santee Sioux Tribe of the Santee Reservation of Nebraska
262. Sauk-Suiattle Indian Tribe of Washington
263. Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians of Michigan
264. Scotts Valley Band of Pomo Indians of California
265. Seminole Nation of Oklahoma
266. Seminole Tribe of Florida
o Dania Reservations,
o Big Cypress Reservations,
o Brighton Reservations,
o Hollywood Reservations,
o Tampa Reservations
267. Seneca Nation of New York
268. Seneca-Cayuga Tribe of Oklahoma
269. Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community of Minnesota (previously listed as the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community of Minnesota (Prior Lake))
270. Shawnee Tribe, Oklahoma
271. Sherwood Valley Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California
272. Shingle Springs Band of Miwok Indians, Shingle Springs Rancheria (Verona Tract), California
273. Shoalwater Bay Tribe of the Shoalwater Bay Indian Reservation, Washington
274. Shoshone Tribe of the Wind River Reservation, Wyoming
275. Shoshone-Bannock Tribes of the Fort Hall Reservation of Idaho
276. Shoshone-Paiute Tribes of the Duck Valley Reservation, Nevada
277. Sisseton-Wahpeton Sioux Tribe of the Lake Traverse Reservation, South Dakota
278. Skokomish Indian Tribe of the Skokomish Reservation, Washington
279. Skull Valley Band of Goshute Indians of Utah
280. Smith River Rancheria, California
281. Snoqualmie Tribe, Washington
282. Soboba Band of Luiseno Indians, California (formerly the Soboba Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Soboba Reservation)
283. Sokaogon Chippewa Community, Wisconsin (previously listed as the Sokaogon Chippewa Community of the Mole Lake Band of Chippewa Indians, Wisconsin)
284. Southern Ute Indian Tribe of the Southern Ute Reservation, Colorado
285. Spirit Lake Tribe, North Dakota
286. Spokane Tribe of the Spokane Reservation, Washington
287. Squaxin Island Tribe of the Squaxin Island Reservation, Washington
288. Standing Rock Sioux Tribe of North & South Dakota
289. Stockbridge Munsee Community, Wisconsin (previously listed as the Stockbridge-Munsee Community of Mohican Indians of Wisconsin)
290. Stillaguamish Tribe of Washington
291. Summit Lake Paiute Tribe of Nevada
292. Suquamish Indian Tribe of the Port Madison Reservation, Washington
293. Susanville Indian Rancheria, California
294. Swinomish Indians of the Swinomish Reservation, Washington
295. Sycuan Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of California
296. Table Bluff Reservation--Wiyot Tribe, California
297. Table Mountain Rancheria of California
298. Te-Moak Tribes of Western Shoshone Indians of Nevada - Four constituent bands:
o Battle Mountain Band;
o Elko Band;
o South Fork Band;
o Wells Band
299. Thlopthlocco Tribal Town, Oklahoma
300. Three Affiliated Tribes of the Fort Berthold Reservation, North Dakota
301. Tohono O'odham Nation of Arizona
302. Tonawanda Band of Seneca Indians of New York
303. Tonkawa Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma
304. Tonto Apache Tribe of Arizona
305. Torres-Martinez Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of California
306. Tule River Indian Tribe of the Tule River Reservation, California
307. Tulalip Tribes of the Tulalip Reservation, Washington
308. Tunica-Biloxi Indian Tribe of Louisiana
309. Tuolumne Band of Me-Wuk Indians of the Tuolumne Rancheria of California
310. Turtle Mountain Band of Chippewa Indians of North Dakota
311. Tuscarora Nation of New York
312. Twenty-Nine Palms Band of Mission Indians of California (previously listed as the Twenty-Nine Palms Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of California
313. United Auburn Indian Community of the Auburn Rancheria of California
314. United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians in Oklahoma (previously listed as the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians of Oklahoma)
315. Upper Lake Band of Pomo Indians of Upper Lake Rancheria of California
316. Upper Sioux Community, Minnesota (previously listed as the Upper Sioux Indian Community of the Upper Sioux Reservation, Minnesota)
317. Upper Skagit Indian Tribe of Washington
318. Ute Indian Tribe of the Uintah & Ouray Reservation, Utah
319. Ute Mountain Tribe of the Ute Mountain Reservation, Colorado, New Mexico & Utah
320. Utu Utu Gwaitu Paiute Tribe of the Benton Paiute Reservation, California
321. Walker River Paiute Tribe of the Walker River Reservation, Nevada
322. Wampanoag Tribe of Gay Head (Aquinnah) of Massachusetts
323. Washoe Tribe of Nevada & California
o Carson Colony,
o Dresslerville Colony,
o Woodfords Community,
o Stewart Community,
o Washoe Ranches
324. White Mountain Apache Tribe of the Fort Apache Reservation, Arizona
325. Wichita and Affiliated Tribes, Oklahoma
o Wichita,
o Keechi,
o Waco,
o Tawakonie
326. Winnebago Tribe of Nebraska
327. Winnemucca Indian Colony of Nevada
328. Wyandotte Tribe of Oklahoma
329. Yankton Sioux Tribe of South Dakota
330. Yavapai-Apache Nation of the Camp Verde Indian Reservation, Arizona
331. Yavapai-Prescott Tribe of the Yavapai Reservation, Arizona
332. Yerington Paiute Tribe of the Yerington Colony & Campbell Ranch, Nevada
333. Yomba Shoshone Tribe of the Yomba Reservation, Nevada
334. Ysleta Del Sur Pueblo of Texas
335. Yurok Tribe of the Yurok Reservation, California
336. Zuni Tribe of the Zuni Reservation, New Mexico
PAYMENT SCENE
[Cut back to stock picture of the tape collection, this time framed on the left side of the screen to make room for a phone number, the price, and the Visa & Mastercard logos on the right.]
NARRATOR: Don’t let yourself become the last white actor in Hollywood who can’t play the part of a red man! Order Get Red Right today by calling 1-800-REDSKIN, and your first of ten tapes will be shipped tomorrow with a free peace pipe and face painting kit!
You’ll receive one tape a week. But because Get Red Right carries a tried-and-true NarrowScope guarantee, if you’re not satisfied after the first shipment, you can call the number on the screen to cancel your subscription. We’re no Indian givers; we’ll mail you a postage-paid envelope to ship back the tape, and you can keep the pipe and the face paint! All this for three easy payments of $18.99.
[Quick shot of the doctor in his office. He holds up his index finger and looks excited.]
DOCTOR HACK: But wait—there’s more!
[Cut to the same screen as before, but another VHS cover image flies upward from the bottom of the screen and stops just overlapping the Get Red Right stock image]
NARRATOR: If you order in the next ten minutes, we’ll send a copy of Seven-Step Mammy with your first shipment – completely, 100% free of charge. Don’t tell me you haven’t always wanted to hoot and holler like your favorite Hollywood mammies!
[Cut to five seconds of some racist Betty Boop cartoon or excerpt of Songs of the South—then back to the payment screen.]
NARRATOR: And, if you promise to tell a friend about our product, we’ll tomahawk off one payment!
[A clip-art tomahawk chops the number three, and the number two appears in its place. Quick cut to the wide-eyed doctor in his office one more time. This time it’s an extreme close-up of his eyes and mouth.]
DOCTOR HACK: Now that’s the best deal in American history since the Army gave free blankets to the Indians!
[Payment screen once more.]
NARRATOR: Operators are standing by. Don’t keep them waiting—order Get Red Right—right now!