Get Red Right

INFOMERCIAL INTRODUCTION

[The commercial opens, in black and white, on what appears to be an American Idol type audition with three casting people sitting behind a table and a completely non-descript actor holding a piece of paper. The board behind the actor reads ‘Casting Call”. An unseen narrator’s voice begins speaking over the black and white and scene]

*Narrative voice continues over the scene until actual courses are listed*

NARRATOR: Do you want to land that dream Indian job in Hollywood, but don’t know………….HOW?

[The following scene is delivered as the narrative voice continues. The actor begins to mouth a few lines with dignity and practiced acting skill. The camera cuts back to the judges and all, in unison, give the actor a slow head shake. After a “wunh-wunh” failure sound, a large red X cuts through the scene illustrating the error.]

[Camera cuts to three VHS tapes with covers very poorly drawn, sitting on a wood countertop with “Get Red Right” in large letters at the bottom of the screen]

NARRATOR: Don’t worry your pretty little scalps because we have got you covered. From the people who brought you “7 Step Mammy” and “Jose Today” NarrowScope proudly presents “Get Red Right”. A ten tape program designed to ensure you tomahawk your pale faced competition and soar like eagle right into that dream Hollywood Indian job.

[Camera cuts to a VHS tape with a very different logo on the front, but seemingly also offering an Indian acting program]

NARRATOR: Other companies may claim the success we have but do not be fooled by those who speak with fork-tounge.

[A tomahawk cuts the video in half]

NARRATOR: Only “Get Red Right”’s patent pending formula consists of ten videos specifically designed with John Ford’s westerns and cigar shops everywhere in mind.

[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]

NARRATOR: Still not sure? Here’s just a sneak peak at the over 25 hours of training you will receive through our program.

SAMPLE CLIPS OF THE TAPES’ “INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIAL”

[Begin sequence of one instructor and student in the woods. Some soaring theme plays as the footage cuts between an instructor and his student, both sitting Indian style, with the instructor lecturing (but we don’t hear him) and the student attentively listening. The student is dressed in stereotypical Hollywood Indian apparel, and the instructor just wears jeans and a dress shirt or polo.]

[From here on, the screen depicts the scenes that the unseen narrator describes.]

NARRATOR: We’ll teach you all kinds of great techniques crucial to getting a part as a bad guy in the next Western, such as how to stand like an Indian.

How to walk like an Indian.

How to talk like an Indian.

How to dance like an Indian.

How to sneak up on your unsuspecting paleface enemies without breaking any twigs.

How to wa-wa-wa-wa-wa like the best of ’em.

And, who could forget, how to send smoke signals!

TESTIMONIALS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SUCCESS WITH THE TAPES

[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]

NARRATOR: Don’t just take our word for it. Just listen to the testimonials of people who were once stuck in your same shoes, but traded them in for moccasins and found success with our program.

[Scene comes up with a person, race or gender is not important, wearing a feather in a headband and staring slightly left of the camera. A house plant and clean background punctuate the overall success of the story]

SUCCESS STORY #1: I was down on my luck, reading books about Native Americans for acting roles and finding no success. Right before I thought about calling my career quits forever, I saw this program called “Get Red Right” and ordered the tapes. I just landed the part I was born to play. I’m starring as Chief Little-Big-Running-Eagle-Dog-Wolf in the film “6 Apaches for 7 Comanches” . [large smile into the camera]

[A different background appears but with a similar effect. This actor may have war paint drawn on his face or a feather again, or, for the most daring, he may be indeed just wearing a loincloth of some kind. The actor again faces away from the camera slightly]

SUCCESS STORY #2: After using “Get Red Right”, my rain dance is so noteworthy, I’ve become the meteorologist at my local television station. My fame now soars like spirit of buffalo. I have been asked to do all kinds of talk shows and have even had a few marriage proposals, but as the station only pays me in strings of beads I have yet to land my squaw. But what do I care, Im so proud of this program I don’t think Ill ever stop wearing my loincloth. (places hand over mouth and does the stereotypical Indian war cry).

[A different background appears but with a similar effect. This actor may have war paint drawn on his face or a feather again, or for the most daring he may be wearing a loincloth of some kind. This actor should sound more distinguished and noteworthy than the previous 2. The actor again faces away from the camera slightly

SUCCESS STORY #3: As a graduate of Julliard, I take my acting roles very seriously. I actually lived with a tribe of Cheyenne for 17 years in the research of a role. I had no idea that reality wasn’t what directors wanted and I didn’t land the part. After just one week of the “Get Red Right” tapes, I was finally offered a part in a movie. I play the role of silent savage number 4 in the upcoming film “Scalped Heads and Scalloped Potatoes”. (proud smile) My career has never been in a better place.

[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]

NARRATOR: “Get Red Right” is such a powerful program the lessons learned on the tapes can actually be transferred over for success in everyday life.

[Camera interviews a younger college aged person, sitting in a dorm room, hopefully wearing a headdress]

REAL STORY #1: So, I just got accepted to college and I found out my roommate is Native American. I want to make a good impression but, OMG, I have never seen a real life Indian before, I don’t think, I don’t know. Anywho, I ordered the “Get Red Right” tapes and I’m positive I’m going to make a great impression. I just can’t wait to introduce myself. (Very slowly and very deeply speaking). Me…Ashley. You…Kelly. Me…Friend.(Giggling) Like, we are totally gonna get off to a great start!! Thanks “Get Red Right”!

[Middle Aged Man standing in his garage, or other location that gives off the perception that the man is clearly not interested in acting. The man looks very Joe 6-pack]

REAL STORY #2: Yeah, I got them tapes as a gift. I asked for the John Wayne collection, but the wife don’t hear so good, you know. I couldn’t believe it! I loved the tapes! After I put on the free war paint, I carried my tommyhawk into various establishments lookin to see how convincing I was as a injun. I tell you these tapes is like a coupon book. Not only was I told to take what I ever I wanted, I had money thrown at me just for walking in. That aint a one time thing either. Banks, grocery stores, neighbors houses. This tommyhawk and face paint are my good luck charms. My life’s gotten better ten fold all due to “Get Red Right”.

INTRO TO THE RECENT GRADUATES

[Camera cuts back to the three tapes on the countertop with the writing at the bottom of the screen]

NARRATOR: If youre still not convinced, just take a look at these recent graduates of our fine program who are now stampeding through Hollywood like a herd of Tatanka. In case you’re wondering, that’s buffalo for those of you that haven’t ordered your tapes, yet.

1) Disney Peter Pan scene : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_at9dOElQk

2) Gumby “Gold Rush” show footage : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqKMrkVt0ic

3) Ugga wugga meatball (Mary Martin’s Peter Pan) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNeED-Fd6zA

4) High school Indian mascot : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUZnI9h2Fgs

5) non-Disney Pocahontas : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PStrheFciO8

6) Lone Ranger “Tonto and the Devil Spirits” cartoon footage : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdj8gMcYJ5A

EXPERT SEGMENT

[Sudden cut to a man wearing white lab coat. Medium shot. He’s sitting at a desk, directly facing the camera. Bookshelves are in the background.]

DOCTOR HACK: Oh hi there! I’m Doctor Felix Hack, a family chiropractor and professor emeritus at the University of Phoenix Online. Like many of you out there, I had some doubts about this product at first. After all, how could watching a few video tapes help you look and act more like our noble, red friends on the rez?

I decided to conduct a few in-depth test studies on some of the program’s recent graduates, and I was blown away with the results!

[The doctor gives a wacky smile and pauses for a moment as a blowing sound effect plays. He spins around in his chair and grabs something off the floor. Cut to a closer shot of him holding ridiculous pie charts and line graphs.]

DOCTOR HACK: As you can see here, if you follow the easy steps of Get Red Right’s patented system, you can double, triple, even quadruple your Indianness in a matter of weeks! In all my years of scholarly research, I have never seen a program yield this much success at such a quick rate!

[The camera zooms out as the doctor abruptly drops the chart, stands up, and gives a long, awkward, silent thumbs-up, again with a goofy grin.]

LIST OF THE TRIBES

[Cut to our stock picture of the tape collection. Some cheesy 80s “Indian” music—probably that WWF wrestler’s entrance theme—plays through the end of the program.]

NARRATOR: Get Red Right’s ten-tape program will help you master the whoops, chants, and dances of all 338 federally recognized tribes.

[Black screen with very quickly scrolling list of tribes in white text]

NARRATOR: The last ten minutes of the second tape sees to it that you won’t get caught mixing up Hopis with Ho-Chunks and Mohegans with the Muscogees at your next audition! You’ll know just [with emphasis] HOW each tribe is savage—err, I mean noble—in their own way!

1. Absentee-Shawnee Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma

2. Agua Caliente Band of Cahuilla Indians of the Agua Caliente Indian Reservation, California

3. Ak Chin Indian Community of the Maricopa (Ak Chin) Indian Reservation, Arizona

4. Alabama-Coushatta Tribes of Texas

5. Alabama-Quassarte Tribal Town, Oklahoma

6. Alturas Indian Rancheria, California

7. Apache Tribe of Oklahoma

8. Arapahoe Tribe of the Wind River Reservation, Wyoming

9. Aroostook Band of Micmac Indians of Maine

10. Assiniboine and Sioux Tribes of the Fort Peck Indian Reservation, Montana

11. Augustine Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Augustine Reservation, California

12. Bad River Band of the Lake Superior Tribe of Chippewa Indians of the

13. Bad River Reservation, Wisconsin

14. Bay Mills Indian Community, Michigan (previously listed as the Bay Mills Indian Community of the Sault Ste. Marie Band of Chippewa Indians, Bay Mills Reservation, Michigan)

15. Bear River Band of the Rohnerville Rancheria, California

16. Berry Creek Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California

17. Big Lagoon Rancheria, California

18. Big Pine Band of Owens Valley Paiute Shoshone Indians of the Big Pine Reservation, California

19. Big Sandy Rancheria of Mono Indians of California

20. Big Valley Band of Pomo Indians of the Big Valley Rancheria, California

21. Blackfeet Tribe of the Blackfeet Indian Reservation of Montana

22. Blue Lake Rancheria, California

23. Bridgeport Paiute Indian Colony of California

24. Buena Vista Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California

25. Burns Paiute Tribe of the Burns Paiute Indian Colony of Oregon

26. Cabazon Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Cabazon Reservation, California

27. Cachil DeHe Band of Wintun Indians of the Colusa Indian Community of the Colusa Rancheria, California

28. Caddo Indian Tribe of Oklahoma

29. Cahuilla Band of Mission Indians of the Cahuilla Reservation, California

30. Cahto Indian Tribe of the Laytonville Rancheria, California

31. California Valley Miwok Tribe, California (formerly the Sheep Ranch Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California)

32. Campo Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Campo Indian Reservation, California

33. Capitan Grande Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of California:

o Barona Group of Capitan Grande Band of Mission Indians of the Barona Reservation, California

o Viejas (Baron Long) Group of Capitan Grande Band of Mission Indians of the Viejas Reservation, California

34. Catawba Indian Nation (aka Catawba Tribe of South Carolina)

35. Cayuga Nation of New York

36. Cedarville Rancheria, California

37. Chemehuevi Indian Tribe of the Chemehuevi Reservation, California

38. Cher-Ae Heights Indian Community of the Trinidad Rancheria, California

39. Cherokee Nation, Oklahoma

40. Cheyenne-Arapaho Tribes of Oklahoma

41. Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe of the Cheyenne River Reservation, South Dakota

42. Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma

43. Chicken Ranch Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California

44. Chippewa-Cree Indians of the Rocky Boy's Reservation, Montana

45. Chitimacha Tribe of Louisiana

46. Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma

47. Citizen Potawatomi Nation, Oklahoma

48. Cloverdale Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

49. Cocopah Tribe of Arizona

50. Coeur D'Alene Tribe of the Coeur D'Alene Reservation, Idaho

51. Cold Springs Rancheria of Mono Indians of California

52. Colorado River Indian Tribes of the Colorado River Indian Reservation, Arizona and California

53. Comanche Nation, Oklahoma (formerly the Comanche Indian Tribe)

54. Confederated Salish & Kootenai Tribes of the Flathead Reservation, Montana

55. Confederated Tribes of the Chehalis Reservation, Washington

56. Confederated Tribes of the Colville Reservation, Washington

57. Confederated Tribes of the Coos, Lower Umpqua and Siuslaw Indians of Oregon

58. Confederated Tribes of the Goshute Reservation, Nevada and Utah

59. Confederated Tribes of the Grand Ronde Community of Oregon

60. Confederated Tribes of the Siletz Reservation, Oregon

61. Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Reservation, Oregon

62. Confederated Tribes of the Warm Springs Reservation of Oregon

63. Confederated Tribes and Bands of the Yakama Indian Nation of the Yakama Reservation, Washington

64. Coquille Tribe of Oregon

65. Cortina Indian Rancheria of Wintun Indians of California

66. Coushatta Tribe of Louisiana

67. Cow Creek Band of Umpqua Indians of Oregon

68. Cowlitz Indian Tribe, Washington

69. Coyote Valley Band of Pomo Indians of California

70. Crow Tribe of Montana

71. Crow Creek Sioux Tribe of the Crow Creek Reservation, South Dakota

72. Cuyapaipe Community of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Cuyapaipe Reservation, California

73. Death Valley Timbi-Sha Shoshone Band of California

74. Delaware Nation, Oklahoma (formerly Delaware Tribe of Western Oklahoma)

75. Delaware Tribe of Indians, Oklahoma

76. Dry Creek Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

77. Duckwater Shoshone Tribe of the Duckwater Reservation, Nevada

78. Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians of North Carolina

79. Eastern Shawnee Tribe of Oklahoma

80. Elem Indian Colony of Pomo Indians of the Sulphur Bank Rancheria, California

81. Elk Valley Rancheria, California

82. Ely Shoshone Tribe of Nevada

83. Enterprise Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California

84. Flandreau Santee Sioux Tribe of South Dakota

85. Forest County Potawatomi Community, Wisconsin (previously listed as the Forest County Potawatomi Community of Wisconsin Potawatomi Indians, Wisconsin)

86. Fort Belknap Indian Community of the Fort Belknap Reservation of Montana

87. Fort Bidwell Indian Community of the Fort Bidwell Reservation of California

88. Fort Independence Indian Community of Paiute Indians of the Fort Independence Reservation, California

89. Fort McDermitt Paiute and Shoshone Tribes of the Fort McDermitt Indian Reservation, Nevada and Oregon

90. Fort McDowell Yavapai Nation, Arizona (formerly the Fort McDowell Mohave-Apache Community of the Fort McDowell Indian Reservation)

91. Fort Mojave Indian Tribe of Arizona, California & Nevada

92. Fort Sill Apache Tribe of Oklahoma

93. Gila River Indian Community of the Gila River Indian Reservation, Arizona

94. Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians, Michigan (previously listed as the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa & Chippewa Indians of Michigan)

95. Graton Rancheria, California

96. Greenville Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California

97. Grindstone Indian Rancheria of Wintun-Wailaki Indians of California

98. Guidiville Rancheria of California

99. Hannahville Indian Community, Michigan (previously listed as the Hannahville Indian Community of Wisconsin Potawatomie Indians of Michigan)

100. Havasupai Tribe of the Havasupai Reservation, Arizona

101. Ho-Chunk Nation of Wisconsin (formerly known as the Wisconsin Winnebago Tribe)

102. Hoh Indian Tribe of the Hoh Indian Reservation, Washington

103. Hoopa Valley Tribe, California

104. Hopi Tribe of Arizona

105. Hopland Band of Pomo Indians of the Hopland Rancheria, California

106. Houlton Band of Maliseet Indians of Maine

107. Hualapai Indian Tribe of the Hualapai Indian Reservation, Arizona

108. Huron Potawatomi, Inc., Michigan

109. Inaja Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Inaja and Cosmit Reservation, California

110. Ione Band of Miwok Indians of California

111. Iowa Tribe of Kansas and Nebraska

112. Iowa Tribe of Oklahoma

113. Jackson Rancheria of Me-Wuk Indians of California

114. Jamestown S'Klallam Tribe of Washington

115. Jamul Indian Village of California

116. Jena Band of Choctaw Indians, Louisiana

117. Jicarilla Apache Nation, New Mexico (formerly the Jicarilla Apache Tribe of the Jicarilla Apache Indian Reservation)

118. Kaibab Band of Paiute Indians of the Kaibab Indian Reservation, Arizona

119. Kalispel Indian Community of the Kalispel Reservation, Washington

120. Karuk Tribe of California

121. Kashia Band of Pomo Indians of the Stewarts Point Rancheria, California

122. Kaw Nation, Oklahoma

123. Keweenaw Bay Indian Community, Michigan (previously listed as the Keweenaw Bay Indian Community of L'Anse and Ontonagon Bands of Chippewa Indians of the L'Anse Reservation, Michigan)

124. Kialegee Tribal Town, Oklahoma

125. Kickapoo Tribe of Indians of the Kickapoo Reservation in Kansas

126. Kickapoo Tribe of Oklahoma

127. Kickapoo Traditional Tribe of Texas

128. Kiowa Indian Tribe of Oklahoma

129. Klamath Indian Tribe of Oregon

130. Kootenai Tribe of Idaho

131. La Jolla Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the La Jolla Reservation, California

132. La Posta Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the La Posta Indian Reservation, California

133. Lac Courte Oreilles Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin (previously listed as the Lac Courte Oreilles Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of the Lac Courte Oreilles Reservation of Wisconsin)

134. Lac du Flambeau Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of the Lac du Flambeau Reservation of Wisconsin

135. Lac Vieux Desert Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of Michigan

136. Las Vegas Tribe of Paiute Indians of the Las Vegas Indian Colony, Nevada

137. Little River Band of Ottawa Indians of Michigan

138. Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians, Michigan (previously listed as the Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians of Michigan)

139. Lower Lake Rancheria, California

140. Los Coyotes Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Los Coyotes Reservation, California

141. Lovelock Paiute Tribe of the Lovelock Indian Colony, Nevada

142. Lower Brule Sioux Tribe of the Lower Brule Reservation, South Dakota

143. Lower Elwha Tribal Community of the Lower Elwha Reservation, Washington

144. Lower Sioux Indian Community in the State of Minnesota (previously listed as the Lower Sioux Indian Community of Minnesota Mdewakanton Sioux Indians of the Lower Sioux Reservation in Minnesota)

145. Lummi Tribe of the Lummi Reservation, Washington

146. Lytton Rancheria of California

147. Makah Indian Tribe of the Makah Indian Reservation, Washington

148. Manchester Band of Pomo Indians of the Manchester-Point Arena Rancheria, California

149. Manzanita Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Manzanita Reservation, California

150. Mashantucket Pequot Tribe of Connecticut

151. Match-e-be-nash-she-wish Band of Pottawatomi Indians of Michigan

152. Mechoopda Indian Tribe of Chico Rancheria, California

153. Menominee Indian Tribe of Wisconsin

154. Mesa Grande Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Mesa Grande Reservation, California

155. Mescalero Apache Tribe of the Mescalero Reservation, New Mexico

156. Miami Tribe of Oklahoma

157. Miccosukee Tribe of Indians of Florida

158. Middletown Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

159. Minnesota Chippewa Tribe, Minnesota - Six component reservations:

o Bois Forte Band (Nett Lake);

o Fond du Lac Band;

o Grand Portage Band;

o Leech Lake Band;

o Mille Lacs Band;

o White Earth Band

160. Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians, Mississippi

161. Moapa Band of Paiute Indians of the Moapa River Indian Reservation, Nevada

162. Modoc Tribe of Oklahoma

163. Mohegan Indian Tribe of Connecticut

164. Mooretown Rancheria of Maidu Indians of California

165. Morongo Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Morongo Reservation, California

166. Muckleshoot Indian Tribe of the Muckleshoot Reservation, Washington

167. Muscogee (Creek) Nation, Oklahoma

168. Narragansett Indian Tribe of Rhode Island

169. Navajo Nation, Arizona, New Mexico & Utah

170. Nez Perce Tribe of Idaho

171. Nisqually Indian Tribe of the Nisqually Reservation, Washington

172. Nooksack Indian Tribe of Washington

173. Northern Cheyenne Tribe of the Northern Cheyenne Indian Reservation, Montana

174. North Fork Rancheria of Mono Indians of California

175. Northwestern Band of Shoshoni Nation of Utah (Washakie)

176. Oglala Sioux Tribe of the Pine Ridge Reservation, South Dakota

177. Omaha Tribe of Nebraska

178. Oneida Nation of New York

179. Oneida Tribe of Indians of Wisconsin (previously listed as the Oneida Tribe of Wisconsin)

180. Onondaga Nation of New York

181. Osage Tribe, Oklahoma

182. Ottawa Tribe of Oklahoma

183. Otoe-Missouria Tribe of Indians, Oklahoma

184. Paiute Indian Tribe of Utah

o Cedar City Band of Paiutes

o Kanosh Band of Paiutes

o Koosharem Band of Paiutes

o Indian Peaks Band of Paiutes

o Shivwits Band of Paiutes

185. Paiute-Shoshone Indians of the Bishop Community of the Bishop Colony, California

186. Paiute-Shoshone Tribe of the Fallon Reservation and Colony, Nevada

187. Paiute-Shoshone Indians of the Lone Pine Community of the Lone Pine Reservation, California

188. Pala Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Pala Reservation, California

189. Pascua Yaqui Tribe of Arizona

190. Paskenta Band of Nomlaki Indians of California

191. Passamaquoddy Tribe of Maine

192. Pauma Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Pauma & Yuima Reservation, California

193. Pawnee Nation of Oklahoma

194. Pechanga Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Pechanga Reservation, California

195. Penobscot Tribe of Maine

196. Peoria Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma

197. Picayune Rancheria of Chukchansi Indians of California

198. Pinoleville Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

199. Pit River Tribe, California

o Big Bend,

o Lookout,

o Montgomery

o Creek & Roaring Creek Rancherias

o XL Ranch

200. Poarch Band of Creek Indians of Alabama

201. Pokagon Band of Potawatomi Indians, Michigan and Indiana (previously listed as the Pokagon Band of Potawatomi Indians of Michigan)

202. Ponca Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma

203. Ponca Tribe of Nebraska

204. Port Gamble Indian Community of the Port Gamble Reservation, Washington

205. Potter Valley Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

206. Prairie Band of Potawatomi Nation, Kansas (formerly the Prairie Band of Potawatomi Indians)

207. Prairie Island Indian Community in the State of Minnesota (previously listed as the Prairie Island Indian Community of Minnesota Mdewakanton Sioux Indians of the Prairie Island Reservation, Minnesota)

208. Pueblo of Acoma, New Mexico

209. Pueblo of Cochiti, New Mexico

210. Pueblo of Jemez, New Mexico

211. Pueblo of Isleta, New Mexico

212. Pueblo of Laguna, New Mexico

213. Pueblo of Nambe, New Mexico

214. Pueblo of Picuris, New Mexico

215. Pueblo of Pojoaque, New Mexico

216. Pueblo of San Felipe, New Mexico

217. Pueblo of San Juan, New Mexico

218. Pueblo of San Ildefonso, New Mexico

219. Pueblo of Sandia, New Mexico

220. Pueblo of Santa Ana, New Mexico

221. Pueblo of Santa Clara, New Mexico

222. Pueblo of Santo Domingo, New Mexico

223. Pueblo of Taos, New Mexico

224. Pueblo of Tesuque, New Mexico

225. Pueblo of Zia, New Mexico

226. Puyallup Tribe of the Puyallup Reservation, Washington

227. Pyramid Lake Paiute Tribe of the Pyramid Lake Reservation, Nevada

228. Quapaw Tribe of Indians, Oklahoma

229. Quartz Valley Indian Community of the Quartz Valley Reservation of California

230. Quechan Tribe of the Fort Yuma Indian Reservation, California & Arizona

231. Quileute Tribe of the Quileute Reservation, Washington

232. Quinault Tribe of the Quinault Reservation, Washington

233. Ramona Band or Village of Cahuilla Mission Indians of California

234. Red Cliff Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin

235. Red Lake Band of Chippewa Indians, Minnesota (previously listed as the Red Lake Band of Chippewa Indians of the Red Lake Reservation, Minnesota)

236. Redding Rancheria, California

237. Redwood Valley Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

238. Reno-Sparks Indian Colony, Nevada

239. Resighini Rancheria, California (formerly the Coast Indian Community of Yurok Indians of the Resighini Rancheria)

240. Rincon Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Rincon Reservation, California

241. Robinson Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

242. Rosebud Sioux Tribe of the Rosebud Indian Reservation, South Dakota

243. Round Valley Indian Tribes of the Round Valley Reservation, California (formerly known as the Covelo Indian Community)

244. Rumsey Indian Rancheria of Wintun Indians of California

245. Sac & Fox Tribe of the Mississippi in Iowa

246. Sac & Fox Nation of Missouri in Kansas and Nebraska

247. Sac & Fox Nation, Oklahoma

248. Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe of Michigan (previously listed as the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe of Michigan, Isabella Reservation)

249. St. Croix Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin (previously listed as the St. Croix Chippewa Indians of Wisconsin, St. Croix Reservation)

250. St. Regis Band of Mohawk Indians of New York

251. Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community of the Salt River Reservation, Arizona

252. Samish Indian Tribe, Washington

253. San Carlos Apache Tribe of the San Carlos Reservation, Arizona

254. San Juan Southern Paiute Tribe of Arizona

255. San Manual Band of Serrano Mission Indians of the San Manual Reservation, California

256. San Pasqual Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of California

257. Santa Rosa Indian Community of the Santa Rosa Rancheria, California

258. Santa Rosa Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of the Santa Rosa Reservation, California

259. Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Mission Indians of the Santa Ynez Reservation, California

260. Santa Ysabel Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of the Santa Ysabel Reservation, California

261. Santee Sioux Tribe of the Santee Reservation of Nebraska

262. Sauk-Suiattle Indian Tribe of Washington

263. Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians of Michigan

264. Scotts Valley Band of Pomo Indians of California

265. Seminole Nation of Oklahoma

266. Seminole Tribe of Florida

o Dania Reservations,

o Big Cypress Reservations,

o Brighton Reservations,

o Hollywood Reservations,

o Tampa Reservations

267. Seneca Nation of New York

268. Seneca-Cayuga Tribe of Oklahoma

269. Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community of Minnesota (previously listed as the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community of Minnesota (Prior Lake))

270. Shawnee Tribe, Oklahoma

271. Sherwood Valley Rancheria of Pomo Indians of California

272. Shingle Springs Band of Miwok Indians, Shingle Springs Rancheria (Verona Tract), California

273. Shoalwater Bay Tribe of the Shoalwater Bay Indian Reservation, Washington

274. Shoshone Tribe of the Wind River Reservation, Wyoming

275. Shoshone-Bannock Tribes of the Fort Hall Reservation of Idaho

276. Shoshone-Paiute Tribes of the Duck Valley Reservation, Nevada

277. Sisseton-Wahpeton Sioux Tribe of the Lake Traverse Reservation, South Dakota

278. Skokomish Indian Tribe of the Skokomish Reservation, Washington

279. Skull Valley Band of Goshute Indians of Utah

280. Smith River Rancheria, California

281. Snoqualmie Tribe, Washington

282. Soboba Band of Luiseno Indians, California (formerly the Soboba Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of the Soboba Reservation)

283. Sokaogon Chippewa Community, Wisconsin (previously listed as the Sokaogon Chippewa Community of the Mole Lake Band of Chippewa Indians, Wisconsin)

284. Southern Ute Indian Tribe of the Southern Ute Reservation, Colorado

285. Spirit Lake Tribe, North Dakota

286. Spokane Tribe of the Spokane Reservation, Washington

287. Squaxin Island Tribe of the Squaxin Island Reservation, Washington

288. Standing Rock Sioux Tribe of North & South Dakota

289. Stockbridge Munsee Community, Wisconsin (previously listed as the Stockbridge-Munsee Community of Mohican Indians of Wisconsin)

290. Stillaguamish Tribe of Washington

291. Summit Lake Paiute Tribe of Nevada

292. Suquamish Indian Tribe of the Port Madison Reservation, Washington

293. Susanville Indian Rancheria, California

294. Swinomish Indians of the Swinomish Reservation, Washington

295. Sycuan Band of Diegueno Mission Indians of California

296. Table Bluff Reservation--Wiyot Tribe, California

297. Table Mountain Rancheria of California

298. Te-Moak Tribes of Western Shoshone Indians of Nevada - Four constituent bands:

o Battle Mountain Band;

o Elko Band;

o South Fork Band;

o Wells Band

299. Thlopthlocco Tribal Town, Oklahoma

300. Three Affiliated Tribes of the Fort Berthold Reservation, North Dakota

301. Tohono O'odham Nation of Arizona

302. Tonawanda Band of Seneca Indians of New York

303. Tonkawa Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma

304. Tonto Apache Tribe of Arizona

305. Torres-Martinez Band of Cahuilla Mission Indians of California

306. Tule River Indian Tribe of the Tule River Reservation, California

307. Tulalip Tribes of the Tulalip Reservation, Washington

308. Tunica-Biloxi Indian Tribe of Louisiana

309. Tuolumne Band of Me-Wuk Indians of the Tuolumne Rancheria of California

310. Turtle Mountain Band of Chippewa Indians of North Dakota

311. Tuscarora Nation of New York

312. Twenty-Nine Palms Band of Mission Indians of California (previously listed as the Twenty-Nine Palms Band of Luiseno Mission Indians of California

313. United Auburn Indian Community of the Auburn Rancheria of California

314. United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians in Oklahoma (previously listed as the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians of Oklahoma)

315. Upper Lake Band of Pomo Indians of Upper Lake Rancheria of California

316. Upper Sioux Community, Minnesota (previously listed as the Upper Sioux Indian Community of the Upper Sioux Reservation, Minnesota)

317. Upper Skagit Indian Tribe of Washington

318. Ute Indian Tribe of the Uintah & Ouray Reservation, Utah

319. Ute Mountain Tribe of the Ute Mountain Reservation, Colorado, New Mexico & Utah

320. Utu Utu Gwaitu Paiute Tribe of the Benton Paiute Reservation, California

321. Walker River Paiute Tribe of the Walker River Reservation, Nevada

322. Wampanoag Tribe of Gay Head (Aquinnah) of Massachusetts

323. Washoe Tribe of Nevada & California

o Carson Colony,

o Dresslerville Colony,

o Woodfords Community,

o Stewart Community,

o Washoe Ranches

324. White Mountain Apache Tribe of the Fort Apache Reservation, Arizona

325. Wichita and Affiliated Tribes, Oklahoma

o Wichita,

o Keechi,

o Waco,

o Tawakonie

326. Winnebago Tribe of Nebraska

327. Winnemucca Indian Colony of Nevada

328. Wyandotte Tribe of Oklahoma

329. Yankton Sioux Tribe of South Dakota

330. Yavapai-Apache Nation of the Camp Verde Indian Reservation, Arizona

331. Yavapai-Prescott Tribe of the Yavapai Reservation, Arizona

332. Yerington Paiute Tribe of the Yerington Colony & Campbell Ranch, Nevada

333. Yomba Shoshone Tribe of the Yomba Reservation, Nevada

334. Ysleta Del Sur Pueblo of Texas

335. Yurok Tribe of the Yurok Reservation, California

336. Zuni Tribe of the Zuni Reservation, New Mexico

PAYMENT SCENE

[Cut back to stock picture of the tape collection, this time framed on the left side of the screen to make room for a phone number, the price, and the Visa & Mastercard logos on the right.]

NARRATOR: Don’t let yourself become the last white actor in Hollywood who can’t play the part of a red man! Order Get Red Right today by calling 1-800-REDSKIN, and your first of ten tapes will be shipped tomorrow with a free peace pipe and face painting kit!

You’ll receive one tape a week. But because Get Red Right carries a tried-and-true NarrowScope guarantee, if you’re not satisfied after the first shipment, you can call the number on the screen to cancel your subscription. We’re no Indian givers; we’ll mail you a postage-paid envelope to ship back the tape, and you can keep the pipe and the face paint! All this for three easy payments of $18.99.

[Quick shot of the doctor in his office. He holds up his index finger and looks excited.]

DOCTOR HACK: But wait—there’s more!

[Cut to the same screen as before, but another VHS cover image flies upward from the bottom of the screen and stops just overlapping the Get Red Right stock image]

NARRATOR: If you order in the next ten minutes, we’ll send a copy of Seven-Step Mammy with your first shipment – completely, 100% free of charge. Don’t tell me you haven’t always wanted to hoot and holler like your favorite Hollywood mammies!

[Cut to five seconds of some racist Betty Boop cartoon or excerpt of Songs of the South—then back to the payment screen.]

NARRATOR: And, if you promise to tell a friend about our product, we’ll tomahawk off one payment!

[A clip-art tomahawk chops the number three, and the number two appears in its place. Quick cut to the wide-eyed doctor in his office one more time. This time it’s an extreme close-up of his eyes and mouth.]

DOCTOR HACK: Now that’s the best deal in American history since the Army gave free blankets to the Indians!

[Payment screen once more.]

NARRATOR: Operators are standing by. Don’t keep them waiting—order Get Red Right—right now!